I finally beat Elijah.
I noticed recently, looking at Bugzilla emails in my inbox, the remarkable speed with which Elijah Newren has been triaging incoming bugs, and I made a little game out of trying to get to one before he did. A couple of times I came close, only to hit the “submit” button some small bit of time after Elijah, because we’d been literally looking at the same bug at the same time.
This morning I finally did it. The trick seems to be to be up early in the morning while Elijah, I assume, is still sleeping.