A friend last week sent me, with some astonishment, a link to Iain Murray’s Tech Central Station piece on obesity. I’ve been an, uh, “fan” of Murray’s climate change writing, but I wasn’t aware of the breathtaking scope of his intellect.

Murray has figured out something the rest of us have missed, a way of making lemonade out of some incredibly tart and nasty lemons, but in retrospect it’s so obvious.

Obesity is a good thing. Follow me here. Obesity is a byproduct of affluence. Affluence is good. Therefore obesity is good. “Obesity,” he writes, “is not a symptom of a sick society, but a sign of a very healthy one.” Whew. That’s a relief.

This gives me hope for a whole range of other problems that have been vexing me. Take traffic accidents. I’ve always thought it a tragedy that automobile accidents take more than 40,000 lives per year in this country. Turns out I’ve had it all wrong! Traffic accidents are a byproduct of our system of transportation, which allows me to get to work easily every day. Getting to work easily every day is a good thing. Therefore traffic accidents are good!

This line of argument can be applied problems large and small. Leaking roof? No problem! It’s just a sign that I’ve got a house! AIDS in Africa? No problem! It’s just a sign that all those Africans are getting laid!

Thanks, Iain. You’ve eased my mind. I think I’ll go out for fast food.